I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
