U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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