anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
