What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize