This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
