can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
