Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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