We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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