wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
