Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize