...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
