I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
