Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
