um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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