sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
