u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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