Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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