Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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