Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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