That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
This house was built for laser tag.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize