you guys were way drunker than both of me
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
