Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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