Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
