Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
