so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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