Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
