If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you will always have a special place in my vag
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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