did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
