Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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