I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize