I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
