Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
