His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
