just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
