Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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