Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
