We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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