We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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