We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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