why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
