Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
