Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize