Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
