I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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