i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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