We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
