Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I understand Curling. That high.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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