she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
