He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
