Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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