Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Say something about gay babies.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Actions speak louder than pants.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
