Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize