so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Randomize
