wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Four minutes until I can fart!
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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