the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize