If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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