One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
