I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
