Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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