Sry I called you an 8
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
