For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
