I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize