I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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