I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
