How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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