i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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