Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize