I think I just saw someone hide a body.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
