bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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