Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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