I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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