I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
