soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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