**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
