So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
